Can’t get even get laid in my dreams

tl;dr Stop me if you think you've heard this one before

i'm envious of those who can remember their dreams. they make the most interesting stories. Then again, I rarely dream these days...

my.dream once:
i was writing my homework in my living room, my tummy felt hurt, so i went to the bathroom, on the way, i looked inside my house's big bedroom, my muslim friend was saying "GOT NO TIME, GOT NO TIME" then backfliped onto my bed, face touching the mattress, then stopped moving. my pc was on the piano inside the room, with HOI4 game showing spanish civil war has had more than 20000 times and still going more times.
My history teacher from Northeastern China came out of my bathroom and said:"Here... everyone, these are our history homework for today..."
And then? I woke up

I am a dream reader born in Egypt: In 36 days, no more, no less, you will get rain for your crops that will last 2 days, ensuring a bountiful harvest.

bro i tried having sex in dreams many times but even the dream woman refuse me or even if they say yes. half way through they shapeshift into mushroom wizards